Sunlight filtered through verdant leaves creating a dappled effect on Avery’s black pin-striped pants. Sitting on a park bench she did the same as she had done every lunchtime for the last six months; people watched. There were the teenage lovers canoodling on the lawn, the lady who walked her poodle in stiletto’s, children playing on the swings, their mothers keeping a watchful eye while gossiping with friends and the old gardener with his floppy hat diligently tending the blooms. Avery wondered while she watched if any of them were showing their true faces.
The lovers certainly weren’t. It was obvious this display was in hope of shocking passers-by as they almost undressed each other there on the grass. Avery doubted the lady in stiletto’s was truly comfortable. She would probably be more at home in a tracksuit but that wouldn’t attract the handsome lawyers, so, she donned her public disguise. All the mothers talked about each other, compared notes and tried to outdo each other. Surely, this wasn’t the face they saw when they looked in the mirror. Avery hoped not. At least if it was a disguise to impress or undermine then it could be dropped but if this was their true face, they were stuck with it.
Avery tilted her head to get a better look at the old man tending the roses. Under the brim of his hat his face appeared serene. It seemed there was no place he would rather be. He was not sweating from exertion. He was not frustrated with his daily lot. He was not bothered about the dirt under his fingernails. He was fully focused on the face of the beautiful bloom in front of him. Each time he removed a deadened leaf he would stroke the stem with tenderness as though he could heal it with his love. This was the only person who wasn’t wearing a mask Avery concluded. He wasn’t interested in anyone around him. He didn’t care what they thought or said. To the gardener there was just him and the rose.
Avery retrieved her bag and pulled out her compact. She opened it and looked in the tiny round glass at the disguise she wore every day. Coiffured hair, perfect make-up, business suit and the smile she wore every day to a job she hated. A tear formed. She knew there was a better life. One where she wrote stories, wore flowers in her hair and loved without fear of reprisal. Fear, however, was the problem. The disguise kept her safe. Made her a part of society. Everyone wore a disguise. What would they do to her or think if she took it off? Avery knew she was drowning. Knew the disguise was killing her. Knew she had to take it off. Avery closed the mirror, picked up her bag and went back to work. Avery promised herself she would be brave tomorrow as she had every day for the last six months.
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