Survival

According to eminent psychologist Abraham Maslow survival is the driving force for all animals including the human one; everything we do, every activity we engage in is predicated on its ability to help us survive and thrive in our environment. Due to this base instinct when we are faced serious injury or illness our fight or flight response kicks in. The fight or flight response is an automatic reaction that we have to fear; we either fight the foe or run from it which is also what happens in the case of injury or illness; we either gather all our resources and fight the disease in every way we know or we withdraw inside ourselves which is the only way we can flee from something that is within us.

Those people who gather their courage and fight significant illness or injury and overcome it; have looked into the abyss of death and leapt successfully to the other side. Elizabeth Kubler Ross; the expert on death and dying, tells us that because we live in a society that does not believe in the reality of death and therefore live purposeless lives when we do in fact get a glimpse of the inevitable it gives us a new attitude towards life, one filled with purpose and joy.

Having said that there can be those survivors whose experience can leave them devastated, instead of joy and determination they come away from the event with feelings of guilt, fear, shame, anger or anxiety. They wonder why they survived when others didn’t, they question their sense of worthiness and compare their lives to others who have not survived in similar situations and if their life does not measure up they feel that they should have been the ones to die.

Survivors often grieve for the life that they had before the illness or accident, as often these incidences can leave a person weaker or in some ways less able to do things that they could before. The survivor becomes either depressed or angry at the world pining for the life they once lived.

So, what can determine wether a survivor comes out the other side with strength and determination or a shadow of their former selves? This often depends on two factors; the make-up personality wise of the individual and the support system the survivor has in terms of friends and family. Coping theory tells us that the way a person dealt with the disease/injury diagnosis and treatment will often determine how they deal with the aftermath of survival. Those who came to accept their diagnoses, allowed themselves to feel their emotions but not get carried away by them and looked for realistic solutions fared better than those who gave up, panicked or let the initial diagnosis overwhelm them, often these patients were plagued by anxiety and some were convinced that the disease would return and claim their lives.

When it comes to family and friends essentially the same thing can be said as above those with supportive family and friends who see survival as a miracle or as a fight won by the courage and determination of the patient fared better than those who have families who are constantly fearful of the return of the disease and wrap them in cotton wool then often those people become fearful and anxious themselves.

There is no right or wrong way to deal with tragedies in our lives but history and psychological theory do attest to the fact that acceptance of one’s situation coupled with a realistic yet optimistic outlook and a strong, supportive network of people behind us often lead to better outcomes in these situations.